If you were just wondering where the best place to get boxes is... now I feel silly!

A friend of mine recently asked me for moving advice. I moved a lot when I was a kid. I have had three major moves since I was an adult. Adults are a lot less adaptable than kids so I actually think in a way moving is harder for an adult than for a child. I feel like I have learned a few good lessons about moving the hard way and decided to share what I told my friend about them here to maybe save someone else a little trouble:

I have one big piece of advice about moving that I had to learn the hard way about three times before I finally figured it out. It may seem weird but here it is.....decide you are going to love it before you go and realize that just because you love where you came from doesn't mean you can't love where you are going. What I mean is for two of my three big moves as a grown up (one to Virginia from Oklahoma and one from one town in Virginia to another where I didn't know anyone) I was so busy thinking about the place I had come from and how awesome it was that I wouldn't let myself see all the good things around me in my new place. It was kinda like I was afraid to love the new place because I already loved the old place so much. So I spent a lot of time focusing on how much I missed the old place and no time enjoying the new place. Then after a lot of time had passed I would wake up and realize that this new place isn't bad at all and actually has a lot of good about it. I always regretted spending so much time being sad and miserable at the beginning of new place that I would eventually end up loving . Anyway so when we moved here I decided ahead of time that I was going to love it from the beginning. It didn't mean I wouldn't miss Virginia and all the memories I had there. It did mean I wouldn't set my new town up for failure by constantly comparing it to where I had come from. I would find things I liked about it right away and start enjoying them. More importantly, I would start treating it and thinking of it like home not some strange new place. Those are hard things to do for someone who is sentimental like me, but I made a decision to do it and this has by far been the best move ever. I have realized through all my moves that you can truly love more than one place with all your heart and that makes opening my heart to a new place much easier because I don't feel like I have to turn my back on other places. Places that in their own way are still very much home to me. I don't know if that makes sense but I hope so! Also, I hope that is the kind of advice you were looking for. If you were just wondering where the best place to get boxes is... now I feel silly!

One other thing I had to learn the hard way. Making new friends as an adult is a lot more challenging than it was when we were young. Adults have their own routines and ways of doing things. They aren't really worried about making new friends. They don't have to meet all new people every year in classes like kids do. So my advice for when you move is don't wait to start making friends. Jump right in. Find a church and maybe hobby or something and start meeting people. Don't wait for them to ask you over or out for dinner. You do it. The quicker you jump in and make it happen the quicker you will have friends and the quicker you have friends the quicker you will feel really at home. I didn't do this in my last move and I found it hard the entire time to make friends. I learned though from watching a few military families come in and out of town that when you are the new person the responsibility for making friends lies with you. If you put forth the effort people will happily open their hearts to you. You just have to jump in and do it. If you are shy like me that is hard but totally worth it.

One awesome thing about moving when you are our age is that you you get to take your best friends with you. Having Ron and my girls with me means home is anywhere I am!

Like A Glove.

I Had To Scream For Help From A Stranger Out Of My Third Floor Window Today.

Our bedroom and bathroom doors stick. When they are shut all the way sometimes they can be really hard to open. We have known this since soon after we moved in. Lately, however, it has gotten even worse. When shut all the way these doors are now locking and can only be opened by using a mini screwdriver as a key. We have learned to be very careful not to shut any of our household doors completely, but to leave a small crack. This was working great until a couple of weeks ago when Afton learned to shut doors....hard....to shut them all the way. She has locked herself in her room. She has locked her sister in our room. She has locked an empty bathroom more than once. None of these situations have caused us too much alarm because the mini screwdriver has always been there to save the day.

Then there was this morning. After breakfast I took Afton to her room to get her dressed for the day. I walked around doing a little straightening up. Afton was playing happily. I heard Ponder just starting to fuss to eat from the other room. I decided I better get Afton ready and head out to feed the baby. I looked up just in time to see Afton proudly pushing the door shut. My heart stopped. I felt my body and voice switch into slow motion as I lunged to stop her, screaming "Noooooooooooooooo!"

I was too late. The door clicked shut. I ran over to it and shook it. It was locked. Afton and I were locked in her room. We had no phone. We had no mini screwdriver. We had a hungry baby in her bed in the next room whose fussing was turning into crying. My heart immediately started racing. I broke into a nervous sweat. There was no help to be had from the inside of the room. I knew I had to get help from someone outside.

I popped Afton in her crib and told her she better hope we could get someone's attention quick or we were both in big trouble. She just giggled, totally oblivious to my full blown panic. I opened the window. Normally there are tons and tons of people buzzing outside my building but this morning the lot was dead quiet. I sat listening to my baby crying through the door thinking what am I going to do if no one comes by? That same phrase kept repeating in my head getting louder and louder. What am I going to do? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

Just then a friendly looking young woman came out of my building. She looked like someone I would have been friends with in college. If I was ever going to have to yell to a stranger for help I couldn't have asked for a better stranger. It could have been a lot worse. I looked a mess. I had bad morning hair and was still wearing my nightgown and glasses. I was so embarrassed about what I was about to do. Humiliated really. But I had no other options. I wasn't about to let this nice and safe looking stranger get away. I took a deep breath and did what I had to do.

"Excuse me!" She looked around. "Excuse me! I am up here. Can you help me?" She saw me then. "Can you help me? I am trapped up here." I saw fear come over her face and I realized she must have thought I was being help captive. My disheveled appearance certainly fit the part of a kidnapping victim. I quickly explained that it was my young daughter who had trapped me in the room and not someone more sinister. She very graciously called Ron and explained who she was and that his wife and daughter were trapped in a bedroom. I thanked her heartily and she was on her way with a good deed under her belt and a very unusual story to tell. Minutes later Ron arrived and we were freed.

Our Little Culprit

Afton never had a foggiest clue that she had caused any trouble. She has another new past time besides shutting doors. She now loves throwing dirty diapers into the trash can. That is a past time that comes in pretty handy around here, so I guess we'll keep her. Oh and don't worry, we asked for new door knobs and locks today and until they arrive we will make sure there is a mini screwdriver in every room.

Downtown in Springtime.

This is the view from our apartment this week. I adore these candy-coated trees! I am so fortunate to love where I live. Being right in the center of a beautiful, thriving town is such a fun chapter in our lives right now. I am looking forward to living in a house in the country one day, but for now I couldn't be more content anywhere else in the world.

To the Person Who Took My Wet Laundry Out of the Washer and Tossed it Aside

Dear Sir or Madame,
Forgive me. You are obviously very important and I didn't take that into account when I left my laundry in the washer for a few extra minutes so I wouldn't have to leave my bawling baby unattended. Don't worry I am not as important as you, so it doesn't matter if all my towels air dry in clumps and smell like mold.
Your friend,
Nobody

I wanted to write this note out on a 3x5 card with a sharpie and tape it to the wash machine. Ron wouldn't let me. He said I would be embarrassed if anyone ever found out it was me. I am not sure I would be, but I am pretty sure I should be. See, I told you he is good for me.

The funny thing about me getting so mad about this situation (Oh and I was really mad. The first note I wanted to write can't be reprinted here.) is that just this morning I was listening to and I thought really learning from a sermon on humility. The crux of it was that humility means considering other people (their hopes, dreams, feelings, needs, desires to do their laundry) as more important that than yourself. That means that while I wanted the unknown launderer to be considerate of me, to think that perhaps I had a good reason for not returning to the laundry room the minute my final spin cycle ended, the right and humble way for me to look at it would have been for me to consider that perhaps they had a good reason for needing to start their laundry without delay. You know, maybe they had to leave suddenly for an unexpected trip and had no clean clothes. Maybe they hated to take my wet towels out of the washer, but saw no other option. Maybe not. The point is I don't know why they did it, but the humble and Christlike response would have, funnily enough, been much like my letter - minus all the sarcasm. It is hard not to think of myself as the most important person in the universe. It is something I hope I can learn to do.

My towels are fine to by the way. The world did not end. I found them very soon after they had been taken out and cast aside (see, I was trying to come back as fast as I could) and was able to put them right in the dryer without having to wash them again. I made sure to be back to retrieve them from the dryer the moment it stopped. I may have a long way to go towards humility, but I know how to take hint.

Buy Good Books and Read Them

For the past few weeks Ron and I have been enjoying Charlottesville's annual Gordon Avenue Library book sale . It is something we look forward to every year and is definitely one of our favorite things about Charlottesville. This week is 75% off week which means that patrons of the sale can buy good used books for ridiculous prices. By ridiculous prices I mean they are actually selling books you would want to read for 12 cents. It is quite absurd. Absurdly awesome!

Anyway with all of the books we have been buying lately I want to recommend a couple of jewels that have blessed me in one way or another.

I didn't buy this book at the book sale, but I did read every word of it. Yes, I am proud to say I read all 976 pages. Granted I started in December of 2006 and just finished this week, but nonetheless I read it all. What is more is I thoroughly enjoyed it. It starts in 1580 and finishes in in the late nineties. I heartily recommend it to anyone who loves history or America or both. You do not have to be a hard core history buff, however, to enjoy it. It reads more like a story book than a text book. I think that is how I managed to finish it!



I haven't read this book in its entirety yet and I don't always agree with everything Miss Manners has to say, so this is not a full on recommendation. I am just saying so far I have really enjoyed this book. One thing I like about Miss Manners is that she makes me want to live a fine and beautiful life. That is not the same thing as an expensive life. She inspires me to thoughtful, considerate, tasteful living, which I think is a good thing. I purchased her Guide To Excruciatingly Correct Behavior at the book sale two years ago and found it delightfully entertaining. When I saw her child rearing book at the sale this year I had to get it! So far I like it even better than the first one. Not only is it entertaining, it also seems to contain actual wisdom and insight that I think we will help me as a mother. Consider what she says here:

Miss Manners' dear mother, a teacher, often heard the parental lamentation of "But we give him everything" from those whose children confided in their teacher, separately, how much they cheerfully hated their parents. The parental complaint was followed by a list itemizing valuable goods given.
"I could never find a correlation between the parents' generosity and the child's feeling about them," noted Miss Manners' mother. "Then I began to notice a connection between the child's feelings and the parents' facial expressions when they came to pick him up at school, or even when they just talked about him. The parent who beamed at the child had a loving child, and the one who didn't, didn't. After that, it didn't seem to matter what else the parents did or didn't do."
Miss Manners is happy to present such unmaterialistic news, although she does not deny that many people's fondest childhood memories have to do with toys or other presents. Yet the parent who gives whatever is asked, when it is asked, seems to get no return except increased expectation. The generally sensible parent, who restricts giving to fixed occasions and choice of presents to items that are educational, useful, or apt to be of lasting, rather than fleeting enjoyment, will give enormous pleasure by a rare wild deviation from this policy.

I don't know about you, but I feel wiser for the reading of that.




I read this book when I was engaged and I thought it would really help me as a new wife. I am sure it did, though not nearly as much as it is helping me now on my second reading of it. By helping I really mean giving me a much needed kick to the behind. It was one thing to read it with stars in my eyes and my wedding day and honeymoon ahead of me. It is quite another reading it again with those things, as well as three and half years of marriage and one and two thirds children, already under by belt. True, it is not the inspired word of God, but it does seem to be pretty adept at cutting through to the true thoughts and intents of my heart. Very convicting, but very, very inspring and instructive. I ardently recommend to any woman who has a husband.