Remember Who You Wanted To Be

Somehow I earlier this fall I happened upon Gretchen Rubin's Twelve Personal Commandments. The idea resounded with me. Calling them commandments felt icky to me but the idea was bewitching. It reminded me of another bewitching idea I had happened upon several falls ago.

I hate bumper stickers. I could rant your face off about that, but why? In the fall of 2004 I was a newlywed and living briefly in a Holiday Inn. I came home from work one day and in the Holiday Inn parking lot I saw an old beater with a bumper sticker on in that read "Remember Who You Wanted To Be." The idea resounded with me. It was the first bumper sticker I had ever seen that was worth the glue that held it to the bumper. It has haunted me ever since.

I have seen what it looks like when people forget who they wanted to be. It is sad. It musty and dank and depressing. It is everywhere. I knew the moment I read those words that I didn't want to forget who I wanted to be. What I have never been confident about was how I am supposed to make sure I remember.

I think that is why Gretchen's commandment idea was so poignant to me. What do I do in day to day life when I want to remember something? I make list. I write it down. That is what my personal commandments are - a list to help me remember who I wanted to me.

After I made my list I still grappled with my uneasiness with the word commandment. It is a loaded word. I toyed with other words like reminder or principle but they didn't capture the point of the exercise. Commandment is the only word...commanding...enough to express what I want to do with this list. I want to command myself to remember who I wanted to be.

Not in a biblical sense but in a military sense. My mission is remembering who I wanted to be and these are my marching orders.

Sir, yes, sir!

1. Be here now.

2. Give grace.

3. Laugh.

4. Let your smile make you happy.

5. Suffer long.

6. Don't assume another's neurosis.

7. Play along.

8. Empathize.

9. Go outside.

10. Say I'm sorry.

11. Care.

12. Choose and offer freedom.

But Seriously...YAY FOR OUTSIDE.

We had some kind of lentil soup for lunch. It came from a can from Trader Joes. I realized pretty early on in soup season that making soup from scratch at lunch time was not the best use of my time. So cans it is. More important though is where we ate lunch. Right here:


Our brand new picnic table that Ron bought for us yesterday. I am so excited to eat outside with my family. I want to do it all time. Today after the girls finished their lunches they took their messy fingers and their messy selves to the yard and played. Ron and I just sat there and finished our lunches while watching the girls play and talking like grown-ups. Normally, when the girls are done we have to be done too because we immediately have to clean them up so they don't track even more yogurt and jelly and spaghetti sauce and yucky yucky all over the house. Not when we are outside. Yay for outside.

But seriously...YAY FOR OUTSIDE. It is glorious lately. Everywhere I look I see spectacular trees outside my windows. The air feels amazing. Afton asked me in the car today why God made fall and all I could say is that it was because He wanted to fill our hearts with wonder. Why else?

Anyway, I'm not sure what we are having for dinner tonight but I am pretty sure I know where we will eat it. God is showing off out there right now and I don't wanna miss it.