Just Keeping It Real -- Part 2

These little preciouses (even, er, especially the little one) trampled my nerves today like a Walmart doormat on Black Friday. By the time lunch rolled around I could barely breathe. So, naturally, I took all the oxygen I could muster to throw my head back toward the ceiling and yell "AWWWWWW!" as loud as I could for a good seven to ten seconds without stopping.

Afton said, "Mommy, is that because you don't like whining?"

I will leave that to her and to ya'll to figure out.

I read this last night. That lady gets it. Guess I need to read it again.

Because of the great response to my last keeping it real post I did consider putting a picture of up of some of the "science experiments" I have in my fridge right now but, alas, my pride is too great. Don't worry though, I definitely have enough subject matter to keep this series going for a while.

God Makes People Mad All The Time.

If you like making people mad this post is not for you. I know there are people in the world who do like making people mad and they need someone else to speak into their lives because all I would say would be "Hey, stop making people mad. It's making me feel uncomfortable." And really how helpful is that?

If, however, making people mad makes you miserable -- welcome to my world. I hate making people mad. I hate disappointing people. I hate burdening them or annoying them. These are some of the worst feelings I can think of and ones that I avoid at many costs. Earlier this week I realized this is something that I avoid at too many costs.

I was "playing" outside with my girls on a beautiful morning. Actually I was ignoring them and brushing off their excited comments so I could focus on doing something that was a total waste of time and that I wasn't even enjoying. Why? Because someone (who is not a regular reader of my blog nor a family member and so probably not you) had suggested it to me and I knew if I didn't finish by that afternoon they would find out and know I hadn't taken their suggestion.

All of a sudden (probably after shushing one of my kids or saying "Oh nice." and not even looking up at the dirt mound they had built) I asked myself. "Why the heck am I still doing this?" and before I had time to contrive a good reason I answered myself (Yes, that IS what crazy people do.) "So I won't make {REDACTED} mad."

Wow. And I had to admit that was the whole reason I was doing it. Not another reason at all was even contributing to it. Because I didn't want to risk disappointing someone I was neglecting the important for what in this case was utterly pointless. Ouch.

And then I had the most liberating thought I have had in a while. God makes people mad all the time. He is perfect and He is good and He is kind and He IS love and yet he manages to make millions of people angry every single day. I place a high value on how much what I do will please or displease others. It was huge epiphany for me to realize that in this way I was not sharing God's values. When Jesus was on Earth he made people angry too. He made them angry enough to kill him. I let whether or not something will anger or disappoint someone be the deciding factor in whether or not I do a lot. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say I do that all the time. That's not what Jesus did.

I thought I was thinking of others by not wanting to make them mad, but in reality I was thinking of myself. I wasn't trying to prevent the suffering of others I was trying to mitigate my own discomfort by making sure by whatever means I felt necessary people were rarely displeased with me. My avoidance of the anger of others is nothing like godliness. It is definitely not Christlike. At root it is selfishness and one thing I know about selfishness is that it makes everything worse.

So where do I go from here? Start making people mad on purpose? Stop considering at all how my actions will affect others? No, of course not. As Sissy would say, "Thas not kind!" As Afton would say, "Now you're just being wacky." I think I need to stop dressing up my own self-protective tendencies like they are sacrificial love and learn to really love sacrificially the way Jesus did. His unselfishness, love, and willingness to sacrifice are unmatched in history but he was not afraid of the anger of men. I think the more I grow to be like Him the less afraid of it I will be as well.

Just Keeping It Real

Little Humans.

Kids are little humans. One thing I love about little humans is that they haven't learned to hide some of the less pretty parts of humanity yet. My brother loves how kids often say "Look at me!" He says everyone is always thinking that but kids are the only ones who say it. I think he is right. That is why I love these pictures. Raw humanity. The part of humanity that is stingy and grabby by turns. The part of humanity I would like to think I have risen above, but then I look at these pictures and I can relate to every face both girls make in every frame. If you can't see yourself here too I'd be surprised. Nothing like kids to remind us who we are and how much we need a Savior.

My New Year's Resolutions

In December of 2003 my husband Ron sent me a postcard from Florida. On it he said, "It is cliche not make New Year's because they're cliche, so think of something good." That has pretty much been my view on the subject ever since. Here are mine for this year:

1. Brush Afton's teeth twice a day EVERYDAY.
2. Do the dinner dishes at night instead of the next morning.
3. Have friends over for dinner once a week.

I am sharing these here because I hear publicizing your goals is a good way to keep you from quitting on them. I am totally embarrassed by one and two because having them as goals is like saying to the world "Hey, I don't brush my daughter's teeth and I leave my dishes sitting out all night!" But I posted them anyway. Judge me if you must. I don't blame you.

For the record I do brush Afton's teeth, just not nearly as regularly as I should. She squirms so much that it seems pointless, so it never gets high priority. Now that I have outed myself on the Internet though, hopefully those cute little teeth will get the attention they deserve.

As for the "I leave my dishes sitting out all night" part, well, I have no for the record statement for that. I do it. Pretty much every night. I know, I know! I am stopping though. That is what this humbling (humiliating) post is about.

As for the last one, I know it sounds very ambitious. It is meant to be. It is designed to be a boot camp of sorts, on the reasoning that if you do something a whole bunch of times in a row it stops being scary. Time for embarrassing confession number three. I am terrified of having people over for dinner. Every time we do have company we have a great time. We always talk about how fun it was and wonder why we don't do it more often. I know why though. It is because I get totally nervous about the prospect of cooking for other people. It is quite silly, really. It comes down the fact that I only know how to cook really normal things. I always feel like I need to be able to pull something fancy out of my hat and I know that I have nothing fancy in there. Nothing. Just stuff like spaghetti. Anyway, I always tell myself it is not about fancy food it is about fun and fellowship. I can tell myself that until I am blue in the face, but until I overcome my nervousness I am going to let fretting over fancy food keep me (and my family) from lots of occasions of fellowship and fun. (How is that for alliteration?) That is where resolution number three comes in. If I force myself to cook for friends fifty times this year I think I will beat back the majority of my nerves and I know we will have a lot of fun in the process.

So, there you have it. Wish me Godspeed! Happy New Year!

Look Familiar?

I think we can all relate to this on some level.

Real Virtue?

Realness. The virtue of choice for me and most people my age. But is realness really so virtuous? I am beginning to wonder. It is definitely more virtuous than its obvious opposite, phoniness. Originally, I think it was a reaction against phoniness that brought "realness" its current prominence. I am coming to believe that it is something else that has allowed this quality to remain so popular and esteemed. It makes a perfect mask for sin. Think about it. I can behave in a lazy, unfriendly, foolish, inconsiderate, hurtful manner and if I pass it off as being "real" I am praised rather than criticized. How delightfully convenient. Not only that, but if I am really good at it I might even convince myself and then I get to be proud rather than ashamed of unseemly behavior. I am coming to realize that this is a major pitfall for me. It shows up most in my life through complaining. I would rather complain that put on one of those fake smiles I have been taught to despise. But are those my only two options? Must I choose between complaining and being fake? As a Christian I know the answer is certainly not. So that brings me to my New Year's Resolution of sorts. I aim to seek by the grace of God to stop complaining. I pray that He will help me to replace my complaints not with a skin deep, painted on smile, but with all the joy and gratefulness that befits one whom Christ has brought from death unto life.