Kinda Reminds Me Of Nap Time

I am taking this year off from Facebook. Oh, I still check it every now and then and use it as a means of communicating with specific people. I am just taking this year off of posting things to it and feeling like I need to read every single update every single day. It became a lot of noise in my life. Its absence has been as refreshing as the moments after someone turns off a TV that has been left on but that no one is watching. Deep cleansing breath and "Why didn't I do that a while ago?"

I joined Facebook when Afton was three months old. I was three months into being home alone all day with someone who couldn't talk. My husband worked a lot back then. Leaving at 8:00ish and coming home at 7:00ish was normal. Facebook was a life preserver to me in what could have been a sea of loneliness. I don't hate Facebook. I think Facebook is pretty awesome.

This winter though I didn't update my status for about three weeks. I just didn't feel like it. It was so freeing. The longer I went without telling people what I was doing or thinking the less inclined I was to do so. I just felt like everyone I had ever known didn't need to know where I ate dinner. That was a feeling I hadn't had in a while. Facebook had become such a part of my life that I felt like each family outing, each cute or frustrating (depending on the day) thing my kids did, each original thought, each milestone, all my grievances, successes, questions had to be shared and shared with A LOT of people or it was almost like they didn't happen. I didn't realize I was under that kinda pressure until I just stopped posting and it didn't really matter.

During that three week break I realized I could have dinner at Chipotle with my family and my adorable children could say something cute or do something embarrassing and afterwards we could all go to the Ice Capades and when we get home there could be a brand new car in my drive way wrapped in bow with a card that reads "To my beautiful wife from your devoted husband!" and I could not tell everyone I had ever known and it would still be just as special. I can enjoy my life without making it into a documentary. (None of this happened by the way, just good old fashioned hyperbole. Well, actually, I am sure we did eat dinner at Chipotle. That place is delish.)

Sometime during those three weeks something else happened. I started realizing I don't really care where most of my "friends" eat dinner. I don't really care whether or not most of them went to the Ice Capades, etc. When I hear about those things I think I care, but when I don't hear about them I realize my life is still just as full and happy. Sometimes even more so because I have more mental energy to spend caring about those who are actually around me. Particularly a couple of very special little people who are always around me.

So I decided to take 2011 off from posting statuses and doing daily (at least) checks of everyone else statuses. I am three months in and I don't miss it. I am slowly leaving behind the habit of thinking in status updates. I am enjoying my life just as much as I did when everyone else was reading about it. I am still just as connected with life long friends and I may have a better awareness of who those people actually are. The break has been nice so far. Kinda reminds me of nap time. A big deep breath and some long absent silence.

Like I said I don't hate Facebook. I think it is one of the best ideas ever. I will probably be back in your face with as much of my business as you can handle as soon as the calendar changes to 2012. But until then I am enjoying my quiet. Because as we learn from nap time sometimes we need a break from even the very best things in life.

Where I Am From

My friend Martha made me do this. I wish I saw her more often so I could still call her Marth Brooks like I used to when we were young and we could still sing country songs super loud together. I could use some fun like that in my life. She has a precious blog called 50 Sticky Fingers which is the best blog name ever in my opinion. Anyway her post today told me to do this and I decided to listen to her. I will let her explain exactly what it is I am doing here. It was a pretty fun diversion. I hope you'll try it too and if you do I hope you will leave me a comment letting me know where I can read about where you are from.

Where I Am From

I am from a round dinette table and four chairs with white metal backs, from Kool Aid and love.

I am from the dark, cool living room with Little House on the Prairie turned on.

I am from an Aloe Vera plant making boo boos better and the morning after a storm.

I am from pizza on the coffee table and stubbornness, from McCoys and Andersons and Braggs.

I am from excitement first and thinking later and fierce loyalty and shyness.

From who loves you baby and accidents happen.

I am from the church altar and going forward at the invitation..

I'm from Oklahoma, fried Chicken and Wacky cake.

From Dad bringing me chocolate milk everyday after Kindergarten, playing at Mom's office while she worked, and Master Lee's Karate center.

I am from a park in Virginia, Make A Wish day, good grades are important but not as important as love.

From family being all that mattered.

If you were just wondering where the best place to get boxes is... now I feel silly!

A friend of mine recently asked me for moving advice. I moved a lot when I was a kid. I have had three major moves since I was an adult. Adults are a lot less adaptable than kids so I actually think in a way moving is harder for an adult than for a child. I feel like I have learned a few good lessons about moving the hard way and decided to share what I told my friend about them here to maybe save someone else a little trouble:

I have one big piece of advice about moving that I had to learn the hard way about three times before I finally figured it out. It may seem weird but here it is.....decide you are going to love it before you go and realize that just because you love where you came from doesn't mean you can't love where you are going. What I mean is for two of my three big moves as a grown up (one to Virginia from Oklahoma and one from one town in Virginia to another where I didn't know anyone) I was so busy thinking about the place I had come from and how awesome it was that I wouldn't let myself see all the good things around me in my new place. It was kinda like I was afraid to love the new place because I already loved the old place so much. So I spent a lot of time focusing on how much I missed the old place and no time enjoying the new place. Then after a lot of time had passed I would wake up and realize that this new place isn't bad at all and actually has a lot of good about it. I always regretted spending so much time being sad and miserable at the beginning of new place that I would eventually end up loving . Anyway so when we moved here I decided ahead of time that I was going to love it from the beginning. It didn't mean I wouldn't miss Virginia and all the memories I had there. It did mean I wouldn't set my new town up for failure by constantly comparing it to where I had come from. I would find things I liked about it right away and start enjoying them. More importantly, I would start treating it and thinking of it like home not some strange new place. Those are hard things to do for someone who is sentimental like me, but I made a decision to do it and this has by far been the best move ever. I have realized through all my moves that you can truly love more than one place with all your heart and that makes opening my heart to a new place much easier because I don't feel like I have to turn my back on other places. Places that in their own way are still very much home to me. I don't know if that makes sense but I hope so! Also, I hope that is the kind of advice you were looking for. If you were just wondering where the best place to get boxes is... now I feel silly!

One other thing I had to learn the hard way. Making new friends as an adult is a lot more challenging than it was when we were young. Adults have their own routines and ways of doing things. They aren't really worried about making new friends. They don't have to meet all new people every year in classes like kids do. So my advice for when you move is don't wait to start making friends. Jump right in. Find a church and maybe hobby or something and start meeting people. Don't wait for them to ask you over or out for dinner. You do it. The quicker you jump in and make it happen the quicker you will have friends and the quicker you have friends the quicker you will feel really at home. I didn't do this in my last move and I found it hard the entire time to make friends. I learned though from watching a few military families come in and out of town that when you are the new person the responsibility for making friends lies with you. If you put forth the effort people will happily open their hearts to you. You just have to jump in and do it. If you are shy like me that is hard but totally worth it.

One awesome thing about moving when you are our age is that you you get to take your best friends with you. Having Ron and my girls with me means home is anywhere I am!

I Think She is Ready.

1. A very kind friend took my children for the whole morning so I could have time to get some things done in preparation for Rose's arrival this weekend. She even fed them lunch. They had lots of fun and I missed them. Anytime my children have been in someone else's care I have been out. It felt so strange to be home and for them not to be here. I got lots done on my low energy without my efforts being divided. I can't think of anything at all that could have been more helpful today! It was especially comforting knowing that my children were having lots of fun (More than they would have been having here. Let's be honest.) with people they enjoy!

2. Dinner? Next question.

3. Lord willing this little lady will be a big sister before the week is over. I think she is ready.

Just Getting Excited.

1. Today for lunch the kids had chicken nuggets. Yes, again.

2. Tonight for dinner we are having what I call Aimee's chicken. I got the recipe from my friend Aimee. She has her own home business cooking so as you can imagine it is quite good. I will just say it involves chicken, garlic, basil, and yes, cream cheese and bacon. Yes, maam! Check her out .

3. We got our new portable crib in the mail yesterday. It is where baby Rose is going to sleep while she is little and still sleeping in our room and as long as we live in this house. I adore it. Strong words, but I do. It's nothing fancy, but I love how it matches our bedding and I just can't wait to put a sweet baby in there. No, I really can't wait. I took one of Afton's baby dolls and wrapped it up in a receiving blanket last night and put it in there. I know....out of control. Just getting excited. That's all!

4. This month I have been reading Matthew 5 to the girls at lunch. Today, for the first time in my life, the Beatitudes cut me to the heart with conviction. I guess I had never paid too much attention to the meaning. Today I really heard the words. Wow.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,

for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called the sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

~ Matthew 5:3-10

My New Year's Resolutions

In December of 2003 my husband Ron sent me a postcard from Florida. On it he said, "It is cliche not make New Year's because they're cliche, so think of something good." That has pretty much been my view on the subject ever since. Here are mine for this year:

1. Brush Afton's teeth twice a day EVERYDAY.
2. Do the dinner dishes at night instead of the next morning.
3. Have friends over for dinner once a week.

I am sharing these here because I hear publicizing your goals is a good way to keep you from quitting on them. I am totally embarrassed by one and two because having them as goals is like saying to the world "Hey, I don't brush my daughter's teeth and I leave my dishes sitting out all night!" But I posted them anyway. Judge me if you must. I don't blame you.

For the record I do brush Afton's teeth, just not nearly as regularly as I should. She squirms so much that it seems pointless, so it never gets high priority. Now that I have outed myself on the Internet though, hopefully those cute little teeth will get the attention they deserve.

As for the "I leave my dishes sitting out all night" part, well, I have no for the record statement for that. I do it. Pretty much every night. I know, I know! I am stopping though. That is what this humbling (humiliating) post is about.

As for the last one, I know it sounds very ambitious. It is meant to be. It is designed to be a boot camp of sorts, on the reasoning that if you do something a whole bunch of times in a row it stops being scary. Time for embarrassing confession number three. I am terrified of having people over for dinner. Every time we do have company we have a great time. We always talk about how fun it was and wonder why we don't do it more often. I know why though. It is because I get totally nervous about the prospect of cooking for other people. It is quite silly, really. It comes down the fact that I only know how to cook really normal things. I always feel like I need to be able to pull something fancy out of my hat and I know that I have nothing fancy in there. Nothing. Just stuff like spaghetti. Anyway, I always tell myself it is not about fancy food it is about fun and fellowship. I can tell myself that until I am blue in the face, but until I overcome my nervousness I am going to let fretting over fancy food keep me (and my family) from lots of occasions of fellowship and fun. (How is that for alliteration?) That is where resolution number three comes in. If I force myself to cook for friends fifty times this year I think I will beat back the majority of my nerves and I know we will have a lot of fun in the process.

So, there you have it. Wish me Godspeed! Happy New Year!

FAQ - Why Didn't You / Don't You Answer Your Phone?

There are several reasons that I sometimes don't answer my phone including but not limited to:

1. It is dead.

2. I unintentionally left it in the car.

3. I intentionally left it in the car because I am in church or at a doctor's appointment or somewhere else I do not want it to ring.

4. I am out and I accidently left it at home.

5. It is in another room and I do not hear it ringing.

6. It is in another room and I do hear it ringing but do not get to it fast enough.

7. It is in another room and I hear it ringing quietly and cannot tell what room it is coming from. In these circumstances it often weirdly feels like the sound is coming from every room.

8. It is in another room and I hear it ringing but can not get to it because I am in the middle of something like feeding or rocking a baby.

9. I do not know where it is.

10. I have company or am out with someone and it would be rude to answer the phone.

11. I do not recognize the number on the caller ID.

12. I do not want to talk to the person calling. (This I assure you, never applies to you.)

13. I do want to talk to the person calling, but do not have time right now to devote to the call.

14. The person calling is awkward to talk to, so I would rather just let them leave a message.

15. I know what the person calling wants and I do not yet have an answer for them.

16. I suspect the person calling is looking for someone else who is not with me.

17. I am in the middle of a serious conversation.

18. I am watching 24.

Land Ho!

We bought ourselves a piece of ground in South Carolina this weekend. In the next couple of years we hope to build a home and raise our children on that little plot of earth. I wish I had time to say more about how unexpectedly creepy the auction was and how inexpressibly thankful I am to God for blessing us in this way. At this time I simply do not. This video of our winning bid at the land auction captures a little of both. For those interested Ron's sister describes the process beautifully here. She also has a pretty fun slide show of the big day! This was a dream she and her husband Jimmy have had for many years and were kind enough to share with us. Thanks Kykers! Can't wait to be your neighbors!

I will sing to the LoRD because he has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:6

The Whole World in His Hands

Tomorrow my sweet husband leaves the country for a three week long business trip to India and Pakistan. That means that for the next three weeks Afton and I will be without our greatest source of earthly joy. I know other women and babies have had to do without their men for much longer and in much more dangerous situations. My heart truly goes out to them. Knowing that, though, makes me feel his absence no less.

I, also, know and firmly believe that God has the whole world squarely, securely in his hands - India, Pakistan, outer space. No Christian will ever wander outside his all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful sovereignty. No place is too far, too high, too unstable, or too remote for God to protect his people. This I know and this I believe and this is my sleep granting peace. Still, it is hard for my not worry about Ron's safety and to let my mind wander to worse case scenarios. It is hard to let the dearest thing in the world to me out of my sight and out of my reach for so long.

So this post is just a plea for your prayers, dear friends. Pray for my Ronny. Pray that God will bring him back to me safely. Pray that the days will fly by like seconds. Pray that little Ponder will stay put in my womb until her daddy gets back. Pray that Afton won't miss her daddy too sadly but, that in some sweet way her little heart will grow in even more love for him while he is gone. Pray that Ron and I will be reminded afresh of our love for one another and that the fondness that absence brings us will erase any pettiness that has been born of our familiarity. Pray that I will learn anew to trust God and God alone with the most important things in my life. Pray that He would fill my heart with peace.

Three weeks with my husband in the Eastern Hemisphere. A small concern, even embarrassing to mention, compared with the trials of so many. But it is my present reality. One I dare not face without the gracious aid of my Lord. And so I ask for your prayers. Pray that God will bring him back to me safely. Pray that the days will fly by like seconds. Pray...

I Told You I Love Birth Stories

My sweet friend Mary Lindsey finally got her sweet baby last week! What a delightful blessing! Read all about it here:

http://blantonbaby.blogspot.com/2008/02/i-am-mommy.html