God Makes People Mad All The Time.

If you like making people mad this post is not for you. I know there are people in the world who do like making people mad and they need someone else to speak into their lives because all I would say would be "Hey, stop making people mad. It's making me feel uncomfortable." And really how helpful is that?

If, however, making people mad makes you miserable -- welcome to my world. I hate making people mad. I hate disappointing people. I hate burdening them or annoying them. These are some of the worst feelings I can think of and ones that I avoid at many costs. Earlier this week I realized this is something that I avoid at too many costs.

I was "playing" outside with my girls on a beautiful morning. Actually I was ignoring them and brushing off their excited comments so I could focus on doing something that was a total waste of time and that I wasn't even enjoying. Why? Because someone (who is not a regular reader of my blog nor a family member and so probably not you) had suggested it to me and I knew if I didn't finish by that afternoon they would find out and know I hadn't taken their suggestion.

All of a sudden (probably after shushing one of my kids or saying "Oh nice." and not even looking up at the dirt mound they had built) I asked myself. "Why the heck am I still doing this?" and before I had time to contrive a good reason I answered myself (Yes, that IS what crazy people do.) "So I won't make {REDACTED} mad."

Wow. And I had to admit that was the whole reason I was doing it. Not another reason at all was even contributing to it. Because I didn't want to risk disappointing someone I was neglecting the important for what in this case was utterly pointless. Ouch.

And then I had the most liberating thought I have had in a while. God makes people mad all the time. He is perfect and He is good and He is kind and He IS love and yet he manages to make millions of people angry every single day. I place a high value on how much what I do will please or displease others. It was huge epiphany for me to realize that in this way I was not sharing God's values. When Jesus was on Earth he made people angry too. He made them angry enough to kill him. I let whether or not something will anger or disappoint someone be the deciding factor in whether or not I do a lot. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say I do that all the time. That's not what Jesus did.

I thought I was thinking of others by not wanting to make them mad, but in reality I was thinking of myself. I wasn't trying to prevent the suffering of others I was trying to mitigate my own discomfort by making sure by whatever means I felt necessary people were rarely displeased with me. My avoidance of the anger of others is nothing like godliness. It is definitely not Christlike. At root it is selfishness and one thing I know about selfishness is that it makes everything worse.

So where do I go from here? Start making people mad on purpose? Stop considering at all how my actions will affect others? No, of course not. As Sissy would say, "Thas not kind!" As Afton would say, "Now you're just being wacky." I think I need to stop dressing up my own self-protective tendencies like they are sacrificial love and learn to really love sacrificially the way Jesus did. His unselfishness, love, and willingness to sacrifice are unmatched in history but he was not afraid of the anger of men. I think the more I grow to be like Him the less afraid of it I will be as well.

Little Humans.

Kids are little humans. One thing I love about little humans is that they haven't learned to hide some of the less pretty parts of humanity yet. My brother loves how kids often say "Look at me!" He says everyone is always thinking that but kids are the only ones who say it. I think he is right. That is why I love these pictures. Raw humanity. The part of humanity that is stingy and grabby by turns. The part of humanity I would like to think I have risen above, but then I look at these pictures and I can relate to every face both girls make in every frame. If you can't see yourself here too I'd be surprised. Nothing like kids to remind us who we are and how much we need a Savior.

Jesus I Come

Out of my bondage, sorrow and night,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of my sickness, into Thy health,
Out of my want and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of earth’s sorrows, into Thy balm,
Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress to jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of unrest and arrogant pride,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy blessed will to abide,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair, into raptures above,
Upward for aye on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the joy and light of Thy home,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

~ William Sleeper

Just Getting Excited.

1. Today for lunch the kids had chicken nuggets. Yes, again.

2. Tonight for dinner we are having what I call Aimee's chicken. I got the recipe from my friend Aimee. She has her own home business cooking so as you can imagine it is quite good. I will just say it involves chicken, garlic, basil, and yes, cream cheese and bacon. Yes, maam! Check her out .

3. We got our new portable crib in the mail yesterday. It is where baby Rose is going to sleep while she is little and still sleeping in our room and as long as we live in this house. I adore it. Strong words, but I do. It's nothing fancy, but I love how it matches our bedding and I just can't wait to put a sweet baby in there. No, I really can't wait. I took one of Afton's baby dolls and wrapped it up in a receiving blanket last night and put it in there. I know....out of control. Just getting excited. That's all!

4. This month I have been reading Matthew 5 to the girls at lunch. Today, for the first time in my life, the Beatitudes cut me to the heart with conviction. I guess I had never paid too much attention to the meaning. Today I really heard the words. Wow.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,

for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called the sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

~ Matthew 5:3-10

They Make Everything We Already Enjoyed So Much More Enjoyable.

1. Today for lunch my children ate cooked carrots and whole wheat tortillas. They had water to drink, which they hate, but I am trying to teach them to love.

2. Here is a thought that has been bungling around in my head for a few years and I have decided to release and share. When your loyalty to someone or something for whatever reason requires you to hate or at least not to love someone else (particularly another Christian) I think it stops being loyalty and starts being sin. I would like to hear other thoughts on that.

3. Ponder is obsessed with feeding herself now. Pretty soon I won't have anyone to feed at the dinner table. I will just sit there and eat. Amazing thought really! I haven't done that since August of 2007. Even after the baby is born I will have six good months where my only responsibility at a meal is to eat it. Pretty exciting!

4. I caramelized my own onions last night. They were quite good, thanks for asking. The thought of doing that a year ago would have terrified me just because it sounds fancy and I am afraid of doing fancy stuff. I have learned, though, pretty much everything I ever try ends up being easier that I thought it was going to be. Except labor. That was much, much harder.

5. We are going to "make puckins" with Afton tomorrow. That's make pumpkins for those of you who don't speak two year old. I love how easy it is to get her excited about things. She is pumped about "fall time". All she knows is that involves "puckins" and "rainbow trees". What a precious delight having little children is. They make everything we already enjoyed so much more enjoyable. Well, maybe except for sleeping.

Amen.

A prayer from The Valley of Vision :

SPIRITUS SANCTUS

O HOLY SPIRIT,
As the sun is full of light, the ocean full of water,
Heaven full of glory, so may my heart be full of thee.
Vain are all purposes of divine love
and the redemption by Jesus
except thou work within,
regenerating by thy power,
giving me eyes to see Jesus
showing me to the realities of the unseen world.
Give me thyself without measure,
as an unimpaired fountain,
as inexhaustible riches.
I bewail my coldness, poverty, emptiness,
imperfect vision, languid service,
prayerless prayers, praiseless praise.
Suffer me not to grieve or resist thee.
Come as power,
to expel every rebel lust, to reign supreme and keep me thine;
Come as teacher,
leading me into all truth, filling me with all understanding;
Come as love,
that I may adore the Father, and love him as my all;
Come as joy,
to dwell in me, move in me, animate me;
Come as light,
illuminating the Scripture, moulding me to its laws;
Come as sanctifier,
body, soul and spirit wholly thine;
Come as helper,
with strength to bless and keep, directing my every step;
Come as beautifier,
bringing order out of confusion, loveliness out of chaos.
Magnify to me thy glory by being magnified in me,
and make me redolent of thy fragrance.

So be it.

The Throne of Grace

"for whatever reason God chose to make man as he is -- limited and suffering and subject to sorrows and death -- he [God] had the honesty and courage to take his own medicine. Whatever game he is playing with his creation, he has kept his own rules and played fair. He can exact nothing from man that he has not exacted from himself. He has himself gone through the whole of human experience, from the trivial irritations of family life and the cramping restrictions of hard work and lack of money to the worst horrors of pain and humiliation, defeat, despair, and death. When he was a man, he played them man. He was born in poverty and died in disgrace and thought it all well worth it.

~Dorothy Sayers
Letters to a Diminished Church

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have on who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4:15 & 16

Shared Prayers

This book of shared prayers has been a tremendous encouragement, rebuke, teacher, blessing in my life. It has helped me to turn my eyes upon Jesus like few other books ever have. I have recently rediscovered it and wanted to introduce it to any of you who have never read it. I heartily encourage you to find a copy and be sharpened and comforted by its beautiful, worship inspiring words. I know you won't regret it.

The Promise Is To You and To Your Children

"And I will establish my covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you in their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and your descendants after you.

Genesis 17:7

Praise to the Lord!

Praise to the Lord, who o'er all things so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under his wings, yea, so gently sustaineth
Hast thou not seen how thy desires e're have been granted in what he ordaineth.

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper thy work and defend thee!
Surely his goodness and mercy here daily attend thee;
Ponder anew what the Almighty will do, if with his love he befriend thee.

Praise to the Lord, who with marvelous wisdom hath made thee,
Decked thee with health, and with loving hand guided and stayed thee.
How oft in grief hath not he brought thee relief, spreading his wings to o'ershade thee!

On the Golden Rule

One of the things I hate most in life is being misunderstood. I hate saying something the wrong way and sounding cold or rude or unconcerned or indifferent or angry or annoyed or...you know anything that I actually am not trying to be at the time. I hate the feeling of knowing what someone thinks I think or feel and knowing they have it all wrong. I especially hate the feeling of not being able to explain myself well enough to be understood. I hate being sized up and mentally classified by someone I know sees me all wrong. I hate people thinking they know my motives or intentions or what I will do next when they really do not know me at all. I really, really hate these things. I hate being misunderstood.

Why am I bringing this up in a post about the Golden Rule? Well, because when I really sit and think about the Golden Rule, when I think about what I wish that others would do to me, this is what I think about. My ultimate wish for how I would like others to treat me is that they would really listen and take the time to understand me and until they do they would assume the very best of my motives and intentions and give me a huge benefit of the doubt and tons and tons of room to grow. Humble mercy, I guess, is what I would call it.

So with that in mind, how am I doing at following the Golden Rule? In a word? Horribly. I pride myself on being an excellent judge of character. I size people up in a moment and almost irreversibly make my mind up about them. I have never met a stranger I couldn't almost immediately classify. I am no better with non-strangers, with friends and loved ones. I assume I know them so well that I know their every reason for doing something and exactly what they will do next. I have a terrible habit of jumping to conclusions and leaving no room for the chance that I may be wrong about someone. This is a sad, sad picture of myself I am painting. But it is an all too accurate portrayal as well.

How ironic that the kind of treatment I desire most from my fellow man is the kind of treatment I can be so very stingy with; the exact kind of treatment I find it so difficult to offer to others. It reminds of a quote I heard once that was something like the sin you despise most in others is often the one you struggle with the most in your own life. That is not the exact quote, but it was something like that. I am wondering if anyone else has the same struggle. When you think about how you want to be treated by others, does what comes to mind kind of mirror one of your biggest struggles or weaknesses in the way you treat those around you? I would be interested to hear.

Christ As A Light

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! To celebrate, oh and I do so love to celebrate every possible holiday, I wanted to post the prayer of Saint Patrick, himself, here on my blog. I only know it as the exquisite song by John Michael Talbot that we played at our wedding. It is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. Do yourself a favor and go to iTunes and purchase his song "Christ As A Light (The Prayer of St. Patrick). I guarantee it will be the best 99 cents you spend all day.

Anyway, like I said I wanted to post the prayer of Saint Patrick today and I figured it would be more proper to post his actual prayer than to simply post the song lyrics I love so much. My Google search for the actual words, however, came up with many, many different versions. Being neither Irish, nor Catholic, I had no idea which version was the real prayer of Saint Patrick! So I am posting JMT's lyrics, which I am more than happy to do. These words were the prayer of my heart on my wedding day three and a half years ago, and continue to perfectly capture my longing that Christ, Himself, would both surround and pervade all of me, and that my service as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend would be nothing less than service to Him.

Also because this song always happily reminds me of my wedding I am going to throw in a little wedding picture for free. One of the three snapshots I still have after my hard drive crashed last December. (It's not as bad as it sounds. I still have all the photographer's pictures and I know our parents have tons of snapshots too.)

The Prayer of Saint Patrick
According to John Michael Talbot

Christ as a Light illumine and guide me.
Christ as a Shield overshadow me.
Christ under me.
Christ over me.
Christ beside me on my left and my right.

This day be within and without me.
Lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Be in the heart of each to whom I speak,
In the mouth of each who speak unto me.

Home-Making ~ by J.R. Miller

I wrote this review for my church newsletter which I hope explains its brevity and broadness. I wish I had time to do this blessed book more justice, but for now, I simply do not. I will add two things:

1. I am not exaggerating when I say this is the best book I have ever read.

2. It makes an excellent wedding present. I doubt I will ever give anything else.

I heartily recommend Home-Making by J.R. Miller to anyone who is a part of a family! Yes, that is everybody! Do not be misled by the title or the cover. This is not a book written only for wives and mothers. All members of a Christian home – fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, husbands, and wives will be blessed, encouraged, sharpened, and challenged by a reading of this book.

Miller begins his book with a chapter on what the calls "The Wedded Life" which is the very bedrock of the family. He then devotes a chapter to each role in every family. There is a chapter directed to the husband, the wife, the parents, the children, and a chapter on the special relationship between brothers and sisters.

In each of these chapters Miller describes with beauty and eloquence what it looks like when Christians live out the sweet sacrifice of Christ daily in the most important place on earth – the home. The final chapters of the book are spent on more comprehensive topics such as the home life and religion in the home.

I hope you will be as inspired by this lovely book as I have been.

"You know what a true home ought to be. It ought to be a place where love rules. It ought to be beautiful, bright, joyous, full of tenderness and affection; a place in which all are growing happier and better each day."

The Just Shall Live By Faith

Off and on for the past few weeks I have been working with Afton on learning to drink from a sippy cup. I recently read that spill proof cups are hard for novice drinkers to get liquid from and can therefore frustrate and dishearten them. That sounded like a terrible outcome! What was I to do? The article recommended removing the the part of the cup that makes it spill proof. I obediently complied and these were the results:

The top picture really doesn't capture what was going on there. Juice was spewing from the cup as rapidly as water spews from a watering pot. Afton was having the time of her life soaking her face and her hair and the carpet. It was really sweet and funny. You would also think it might have been a learning moment for me. Not really. The next picture was taken about a week later, the next time I tried. I gave her the same "spill all you want" cup with the same instructions, "Drink like a big girl!" As you can see, much to Afton's delight, the same results followed.

I am pretty skeptical by nature and I don't believe everything I read. Except when it comes to the advice of experts.....particularly Christian experts. I start out with the assumption that they must know more than I do about the ins and outs of any situation I have yet to encounter. It took me two instances of my daughter emptying a four ounce cup of juice onto herself and everything around her in less than a minute before I came to terms with the fact the though it may be true that spill proof cups don't work for lots of babies, the "spill all you want" cups definitely weren't working for my baby. Too bad I didn't realize this before I threw the spill proof pieces of all my new cups into the garbage.

I think this tendency in me to cling to the recommendations and opinions of experts with almost the same fervor that I cling to gospel comes from a desire that there be one right and perfect way to mother. Give me some rules and steps to follow and a guarantee that if I do then my kids will have a good mommy, that they will be good kids who grow into even better adults. I know it doesn't work that way. It just takes lots of little reminders like this one to really drive it home.

It is tempting to think it would be nice if it did work that way. It would take a lot of the hassle out of life. The problem is that it would take a lot of the beauty out of life as well. If all babies were the same would they be so, so special to us? If a list of rules could teach me how to mother would I be as acutely aware of my need of the merciful and gracious aid of God. I know I would not.

Real Virtue?

Realness. The virtue of choice for me and most people my age. But is realness really so virtuous? I am beginning to wonder. It is definitely more virtuous than its obvious opposite, phoniness. Originally, I think it was a reaction against phoniness that brought "realness" its current prominence. I am coming to believe that it is something else that has allowed this quality to remain so popular and esteemed. It makes a perfect mask for sin. Think about it. I can behave in a lazy, unfriendly, foolish, inconsiderate, hurtful manner and if I pass it off as being "real" I am praised rather than criticized. How delightfully convenient. Not only that, but if I am really good at it I might even convince myself and then I get to be proud rather than ashamed of unseemly behavior. I am coming to realize that this is a major pitfall for me. It shows up most in my life through complaining. I would rather complain that put on one of those fake smiles I have been taught to despise. But are those my only two options? Must I choose between complaining and being fake? As a Christian I know the answer is certainly not. So that brings me to my New Year's Resolution of sorts. I aim to seek by the grace of God to stop complaining. I pray that He will help me to replace my complaints not with a skin deep, painted on smile, but with all the joy and gratefulness that befits one whom Christ has brought from death unto life.

T.H.I.N.K.

My tongue is most definitely, when left to its own devices, indeed, a deadly poison. Poisonous to me, to those around me, and most heart-breakingly to those I love most. In God's grace I am at least aware of this and have long desired that in Him I may someday find it in full compliance with the "law of kindness". One of the best tools God has blessed me with in this quest is a little acrostic I learned in college: T.H.I.N.K.

On a small side note, acrostics and other such practical tools are powerless idols apart from a reliance on the grace of God and the righteousness and sacrifice of Christ. I am so thankful that sanctification is God's work. He has started it and he will finish it. Praise be to Him! Still, Christians using practical means as they seek to submit to God's ways in no way diminishes the fact that it is God working in them to will and to do his pleasure. On the contrary, it is an evidence that such work is taking place. My point is that while sanctification, like childbirth, is truly miraculous, it is also very practical. I believe that practical human tools that help us grow in obedience are a tremendous blessing when used in faith and with the understanding that there is no righteousness apart from Christ.

Anyway, back to T.H.I.N.K. Thinking before you speak is easier said than done, but that is an entirely different subject. Supposing you actually have remembered to think before your words are unleashed, this acrostic is meant to help you decide what is worth saying. Things that are worth saying are:

True
Helpful
Inspiring
Necessary
Kind

It is not perfect, but it has been very, very helpful to me. I have learned, though, that most of my sins of speech have not come from being unable to discern what is worth saying, but being unable (unwilling?) to discern what is not worth saying. If I turn T.H.I.N.K. on its head I see there is a lot to be learned about what is better left unsaid. Things that are not worth saying are:

Untrue. I ought not say things I know to be false or partially false. I ought not present as facts things I only think to be true. In fact things I only think to be true may be better left unsaid all together, or stated only as hopes or concerns to my Heavenly Father or to a close and trusted love one.

Hindering. If something I want to say will make it more difficult for my hearer to lead the life the Lord has assigned to him then I better not say it.

Demoralizing. There is no place in Christian speech for the intentional or careless crushing of another's spirit. Complaining, even commiserating, is a big demoralizer that often masquerades as compassion or sympathy.

Non Value Adding. The "N" in T.H.I.N.K. can be very confusing. When I think of "necessary" in terms of life and death then very few words can pass the test. Fire! and Duck! are the only two that come to mind right now. But I think "necessary" is best understood as "value adding". Necessary words are words that actually contribute to the hearer's knowledge, understanding, or enjoyment. Knock, knock jokes can be "necessary" in a car full of bored children. Saying "It's cold." in a room full of shivering adults is an example of something that is not necessary. Inane statements made solely to hear my own voice, to draw attention to myself, or to fill silence add no value to the conversation and are truly unnecessary -- not worth saying.

Unkind. There is not much to elaborate on here. I shouldn't say things that are unkind. I know what kindness and unkindness are. Seeking a specific adult definition would just be me looking for a loophole I can use to slip in words that I know better than to say. Recognizing kindness and unkindness is child's play. Living day to day in kindness takes nothing less than the dying to one's self and dying again and again.

There is much more that can and should be said about the the Christian and her tongue. This is just a little something that has helped and continues to help me. Taming the tongue has been one of the fiercest battles of my life. It is Christ's battle win.