Then What Are You Going To Celebrate?

I love Easter. It's long been my favorite holiday. We haven't really put any umph into celebrating it since we got married and started our family. I'm not really sure why. I'm mean if you aren't going to celebrate the conquering of sin and death and the triumph of good over evil then what are you going to celebrate? Anyway, we decided this year that we had gone long enough without celebrating the greatest event in human history and it was time we did it up a little around here. So we put on our Sunday best, filled some baskets with delectable goodies and beloved little notions, threw a ham in oven and some other yummies on the stove top, hid some plastic eggs and gathered together with family to party like it was AD 33.

Of course no human party could ever be party enough to be worthy of what our Savior did for us on those blessed days so many years ago and what He is still doing all around us as He works so masterfully to make all things new in this broken world that He redeemed on that day. But He knows that. That is what is Easter is about partly...Jesus knowing what it means to be human. He knows that when we humans are happy about something we throw a party. I know Jesus enjoyed a good party.

We are really happy around here that God loved this world even though it was full of sin. That He loved us humans even though we hated him. We are happy that He sent His Son down here to live among us. To know what it is like to be frail and small and weak and surrounded by loud and fearsome temptation. We are happy that His blessed Son lived perfectly among us, knowing all of our temptations but never once giving in to them. We are so humbled and happy that this sinless Man, God's own Son, laid down and died at the hands of sinful men for the sin of the world. For our sin. For our sin upon sin. And we are really happy that this Prince of Life didn't stay dead, but rose from the dead three days after His beautiful sacrifice crushing the power that death and evil have over the world and that since we believe in him we are no longer subject to those terrible tyrannts. We have a new King. A good King. A King who is making all things new. We are really, really, really happy about that. So today we had a long overdue party to celebrate.

And for me it was my best Easter ever...

Well, except for maybe that one seven years ago when this man among men...

...took me to the top of a mountain at sunrise and gave me this:

Ever.

Today my house is full of people I love and it's the best St. Valentine's Day I have ever known.

Jesus I Come

Out of my bondage, sorrow and night,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of my sickness, into Thy health,
Out of my want and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of earth’s sorrows, into Thy balm,
Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress to jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of unrest and arrogant pride,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy blessed will to abide,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair, into raptures above,
Upward for aye on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the joy and light of Thy home,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

~ William Sleeper

Possibly Nothing To Dread

1. Today for lunch we had grilled cheese sandwiches. Rose had Tender Sweet Peas. She loves eating food. It is so adorable.

2. Tonight for dinner I am making "balsamic chicken with baby greens and sun-dried tomato gnocchi". It is from a recipe card I got at Publix. I adore Publix. I have long prided myself on not being a fancy pants. The first time I stepped into Publix those days were over. I love that place so much as soon as I am done grocery shopping I start thinking about the next time I can come back. It is pretty out of control!

3. I will be honest. I am dreading cold and flu season. Last year we were whammied. Here is a partial list of the illnesses we encountered: Hand Foot & Mouth Disease, mysterious purple ailment, H1N1 x 2, pneumonia, strep throat x 2, not to mention the numerous bouts with ear infections and tummy bugs. Oh yeah and pregnancy. Not an illness, but you get the idea. Anyway, so forgive me if I am already bracing myself for this year. We have all been healthy now since April. I am enjoying it but in the back of my mind the closer we get to fall I keep picturing a conveyer belt trying to pull us into sicko land. We are walking along in the opposite direction just fine right now. Still I keep thinking any day now one of us will drop off and then another and then another. And then medicate, rest, repeat until spring gets here. I know. Such a terrible, unpositive way to think. I just have that conveyer belt in my mind. We are blessed that we have never had to face any truly terrible illnesses and we are blessed that we have access to medical help when we need it and we are blessed that we all feel great right now. I am indeed thankful deeply for those things. I guess when I see that conveyor belt in my mind I will battle it away with that list of blessings. It is impossible to feel thankfulness and dread at once and I have so much to be thankful and possibly nothing to dread.

I Am Very Happy and I Know It.

1. We ate one of our Sunday pizzas for lunch because this week on Sunday we will be eating potluck at church. My new church has potlucks that are more delicious than most weddings. Last time there was pork tenderloin. Seriously. Yum. I should tell you all about my Sunday pizzas but alas time.....so bottom line about three or four years ago we started eating a frozen pizza for lunch every Sunday. On paper plates of course. It is a beloved tradition now. We get DiGiorno Pizzas from Sam's in a three pack for $12. Makes Sunday afternoons as peaceful and enjoyable as they were meant to be. Well, there I went and told you all about them.

2. Tonight for dinner we are having chili. Yum. I don't prefer meat in my chili so it is vegetarian. I threw the following into my crock pot:

1 large can tomato sauce
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can red beans
1 can black beans
1 can cream corn (experiment)
2 pack chili seasoning

It will sit there on low all day and the be served with red onion, shredded cheddar, and sour cream. Can't Wait!

(Ashley Holden, if you are reading this you should try it. It is so easy it can't be considered cooking. It is so yummy it can't be considered not cooking! If you do not own a crock pot please tell me now so I can have one Amazoned to you immediately!)

3. I love my new house, town, church, life. I am very happy and I know it.

That is all for now.

I Think It Is Finally Sinking In.

1. Today for lunch my kids had bananas and peas and milk.

2. Not totally sure what we are having for dinner tonight. I am leaning toward black bean stoup. Here is the recipe. It is really, really good. I never have tried the Monte Cristos in the recipe, but I am sure they are probably good too.

3. The Count of Monte Cristo is one of the best books I have ever read half of. If it is so good why don't I read the rest? Not sure. Its moment kinda passed. It may have another moment again someday.

4. I can't wait to have this baby. Somehow I lost weight from this week to last. (Let me assure you it was not from not eating whatever I want or doing any physical activity beyond that which sustains my life and preserves the lives of my children.) I read that weight loss can be a sign of impending labor. "A loss or leveling off of weight may occur in the last few days before labor starts..." I think was the exact quote. My question is what is meant by the last few days? Like 3 days.....awesome. Like 20 days.....no duh. It's the last month of pregnancy. In that sense, of course, it is the last few days. I have been googling everything else I feel to see if it is a sign of impending labor as well. Pretty much it is all just symptoms of pregnancy. Yep, I am pregnant alright. Anyway, I am thankful that this pregnancy has been smooth and that all signs point to a healthy baby girl. I can't wait to meet her. I feel more ready to mother this child than I have with any of my other pregnancies. I have gotten a chance to see twice now how fast babydom slips away, so I plan on savoring this infancy rather than being eager for the next milestone or my first chance to sleep all night. One of the (many) things that makes baby-ness so precious is how quickly it is gone. "Enjoy them. They grow up so fast." I can't go to the store with my kids without an old lady coming up and telling me that. I think it is finally sinking in.

1. Ron won a free lunch for 10 at Chipotle for dropping his business card in a bowl by the checkout. Today the girls and I met Ron and his co-workers there for lunch and enjoyed his winnings.

2. Here is our pumpkin that I told you about last time. We named him Simon. Afton kisses him every time we leave the house and assures him that we will be back soon. When we do come back Ponder greets him with a smile and a wave and a special little "Hi!"



Also, Happy Birthday in two days to my sweet husband who did such a good job carving it and who does such a great job being the man of our house and the delight of all our hearts around here.



3. This time of year someone around here always a runny nose or a cough or has had a one off vomiting episode or something. I think that is true for most households with young children. The colder months are fun months, but they are also the months of the sickies. If you are like me you spend a lot of time guessing and trying to figure out if the symptoms du jour are a big deal and especially if they are contagious. I can't tell you how many Sunday mornings we have gone back and forth over whether or not the symptoms one of the girls was showing was reason enough to keep them home from church. I hate to be the mommy that spreads germs around the town so many play dates and trips to the library or play ground have been scratched due to what were probably innocuous little symptoms. I just know how hard it is on the whole family to have a really sick kid so I never want to be responsible for someone else's family having that fortune. More than often I err on the side of caution so we spend a lot of the sickie months indoors. In our own doors. Anyway, this year, the nursery at the church where I attend Bible study handed out a sheet at the beginning of fall listing the symptoms that preclude a child from attending their nursery. To me it has been so helpful! I thought there might be some other mom's who spend their time waffling on just how sick or contagious their child is and would find this list helpful too. A child is likely too contagious to be hanging out with other kids if he/she has any of the following symptoms: 1.) Has vomited or had diarrhea in the last 72 hours. 2.) Has had a fever in the past 24 hours. 3.) Currently has a yellow or green runny nose.

I hope that list will be as liberating and informative to you as it was too me.

4. Speaking of sick little cuties H1N1 made a visit to our house last week and hit our precious little Ponder pretty hard. If anyone ever wondered what swine flu looks like one year here is a picture taken on day three of her bout with it after her fever had broken and she was on the upswing. As you can see she is still look pretty rough!


We are all doing fine now. In fact thanks to Tamiflu none of the rest of us got symptoms at all and Ponder was back to herself about four days from the onset. There are all sorts of rumors and bad press going around Tamiflu and for all I know some of them may be true, but all I can say is it seemed like a miracle drug to us during that week and I am sincerely thankful to God for it. We are so blessed with health in my little family and it humbles me and makes me truly grateful.

"Its 1:53 in the morning -- is it time for me to declare my intentions?"

Five years ago tonight the brief silence in my kitchen was broken by those words.



"You tell me." I responded coyly, and so began the conversation that would change my life. Forever. For better.

We discussed whether or not we wanted to "give it a try" for a couple of minutes and then we spent the next two hours discussing what giving it a try would look like for us. It was more than a mere DTR. (Though, we had no doubt that was what our friends would be calling it the next morning.) For us it was the beginning of our Great Attempt . That was what we christened the new direction our relationship was taking that night. Our attempt to learn to love well and then to love as well as we possibly could and to never stop learning to love well and loving as well as we possibly could. Our attempt to work hard at our love from the beginning and meet problems and pitfalls head on and handle them rather than be handled by them. We didn't use all those words just then, for fear of saying too much, but five years into it that is pretty much how I would sum it up. So yeah, pretty heavy stuff for your average DTR. Maybe that explains why we engaged two weeks later.

I have never stopped being thankful for that night. I never will. I will never stop being thankful to Ron for having the courage to "declare his intentions" when it would have been just as easy not to. I will never stop being thankful to God for the little and big providences he crafted into our lives up to that point so that when that night of great importance came we were as ready as we could be. Neither of us deserved to be as ready as we were.

So, how is it going, this Great Attempt of ours? We are about a mile and a half into our marathon. It is still exciting. It is still hard to believe we are actually really going for it. It is fun. It is a whole lot of fun actually. And, it is already harder than I thought it would be. Turns out the hard work that love requires takes more than love alone to accomplish. It takes nothing less than the grace of God. Fortunately, we serve an extravagantly generous God. It is already a whole lot better than I thought it would be too. It is by far the most rich and rewarding endeavor of my life. I am fortunate beyond words that this bright, pleasant path is the path God has chosen for me. When I think about it in that way I realize that the hard work of love is actually really, really easy.

So, Ron, when you read this, know that I am glad. I am glad I didn't have to work that Sunday. I am glad you spent all afternoon at my house. I am glad yet another silly boy was leading Christen S. on at the time. I am glad I had lived enough to be indignant with him for doing so. I am glad you didn't leave for Charlottesville after the Grammys were over. And I am so very glad you chose me as your partner in this Great Attempt. Attempting with you day after day has been the proudest enterprise of my life. Knowing that you will be here with me, until death parts us, attempting with all God gives you is the sure and solid underpinning of all my earthly joys.

Happy five years as us. I love you.

and hear the angels sing!

And ye, beneath life's crushing load

Whose forms are bending low,


Who toil along the climbing way


With painful steps and slow,


Look, now! for glad and golden hours


Come swiftly on the wing


O rest beside the weary load


and hear the angels sing!



IT CAME UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR
Edmund H. Sears

Land Ho!

We bought ourselves a piece of ground in South Carolina this weekend. In the next couple of years we hope to build a home and raise our children on that little plot of earth. I wish I had time to say more about how unexpectedly creepy the auction was and how inexpressibly thankful I am to God for blessing us in this way. At this time I simply do not. This video of our winning bid at the land auction captures a little of both. For those interested Ron's sister describes the process beautifully here. She also has a pretty fun slide show of the big day! This was a dream she and her husband Jimmy have had for many years and were kind enough to share with us. Thanks Kykers! Can't wait to be your neighbors!

I will sing to the LoRD because he has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:6

I am Thankful for...

1. My husband.
2. How God's strength is made perfect in my weakness.
3. A healthy child.
4. A smooth pregnancy.
5. The undeserved kindness of God.
6. The patience of God.
7. That God is not like me.
8. My grandma.
9. My baby's sweet disposition.
10. The ability to learn.
11. Friends.
12. How the internet has made sustaining precious friendships possible.
12. Finding Krista.
13. Hard times.
14. Uplifting songs.
15. Having to trust God.
16. Family.
17. A happy marriage.
18. Not getting what I deserve.
19. Grace.
20. Mercy.
21. Looking forward to Baltimore.
22. My baby's laughs.
23. My husband's kindness.
24. Finding kindred spirits again.
25. Life itself.

Afton is One

First a couple or item of business:
1. I am unabashedly copying this idea from my sister-in-law .
2. Afton turned one almost two months ago. It has taken me a while to get to this.
Dear Afton~
My sweet girl. I cannot believe it has been a year since you caught my eye from across the operating room. I whispered to your Daddy, "Look, there she is!" I know most experts will tell me that newborns can't see very far, certainly not all the way across the room like you were from us that night. All I can say to those experts is that I don't know about most newborns, but I know you were looking right at us. Your facial expression was something I know I will never forget. You had the look of an old man who had just been roused from his bed in the middle of the night. You greeted life with a look on your face that said, "This had better be good!"

I didn't get to hold you right away. You had had a real hard time being born and the pediatricians were making sure you were okay. I could tell by the look you gave us from their station that you were in fact okay. It actually looked like you were just humoring them. You were so expressive right from the start. I knew we were all going to be fast friends and that you would fit in with us perfectly.

And, oh my sweet girl, you certainly have. You have more than fit in. You have embellished and beautified our simple little life in ways we never knew possible. Your father and I adore you. You seemed to take to your life with us right away too. You cried and cried and cried in the car on the way home from the hospital, but as soon as we walked through the door of our building you immediately stopped. It was like you knew you were home. You knew you were where you belonged.

One of the the first things we discovered about you was that you are very adaptable. It doesn't take much to please you. As long as you are with your people and are having your basic needs met you never make a fuss. People are always commenting on how lucky we are to have such and easy-going baby. This personality trait came in very handy for you during the first weeks of your life. Due to several family emergencies you had flown five times by the time you were three months old. All the changes and travel never seemed to bother you. You seemed born to go with the flow.

Another thing that was unique about you was that you had very mature facial expressions. People would say that you looked at them just an adult would. It was really funny. Sometimes your faces were so serious that I felt like you were more mature that I was. It really sometimes seemed like I was caring for a very small adult.

Just because you could make some very serious faces, didn't mean you did not know how to have a good time. Actually, I would say that has been your most defining characteristic so far. Happiness. You are a very happy baby. You are a package of sunshine and smiles. Your zest for life lights up our home everyday. You love almost everything. Your joy is contagious. Your happiness makes us happy. Some of the sweetest moments of my days are coming into you room to get you from your nap and seeing your huge smile when you see me. The smile you give me when I kiss you goodnight is even sweeter. I pray that the gentle happiness that has been your trademark during your first year will be yours for the rest of your life.

You love cell phones. You hold them up to your ear and talk and talk. You love your pink and green blanky that Maw Maw made you. Everytime you come across it throughout your day you put your thumb in your mouth and snuggle it for a few seconds before you continue playing. You love to have a diaper wipe to play with each day. You use it to wipe all your babies' noses and to clean your toys. You love to wipe Mommy and Daddy's noses as well. You love people. Anytime a new person walks up you greet them with "Hi!" in the sweetest voice I have ever heard. You love babies. You call them "Ba". You love to carry your clean diaper for Mommy. You call it "di". You love to push buttons in the elevator and can say "Up" and "Down". You get so happy when Daddy comes home at night. You can hear him in the hall sometimes even before I do. I know that seeing how happy you are to see him makes his whole day worthwhile.

We love you so much Sweet Afton and are so dumbfoundedly grateful to God for lending you to us. I pray that He will give us the grace to love and care for you as He loves and cares for us.

Happy Birthday!

Downtown in Springtime.

This is the view from our apartment this week. I adore these candy-coated trees! I am so fortunate to love where I live. Being right in the center of a beautiful, thriving town is such a fun chapter in our lives right now. I am looking forward to living in a house in the country one day, but for now I couldn't be more content anywhere else in the world.

Shark Week

This email I sent to my husband pretty much sums up what our week has been like around here:

We are home from Java. Thanks so much. I had a cheese danish. You know, for protein. Afton and I shared an orange juice. It was nice. I realized on the way there this is pretty much the worst week of my life not including a tragedy. I particularly mean as far as my performance as a wife and mother goes. Culminating in me accidently stepping on Afton's arm and breaking her heart. All I can say is TGIF! I love you soupy!

Count Your Blessings ABC

With the whole thankfulness topic fresh in my mind from yesterday and with me needing a fresh perspective after a tough week I thought it would be fun to play an old game I learned in high school -- listing something I am thankful for every letter of the alphabet. The only rule for this game (and I do realize I am using the word game loosely) is that is has to be the first thing that comes to mind. Sometimes it can be really surprising actually! It is fun at the end to see how much more I have to be thankful for than the tons and tons and tons upon tons of things I already know about. Oh yeah, and Q, Z , and X are freebies! Just in case it doesn't come up in my alphabet soup I want to mention that I am incredibly thankful that Ron's family is coming for a visit today. I actually can't wait until they get here. Well, since as of now we have no clean towels, I guess it is a good thing I have a little time! But I am thankful that they are on their way and that the wait won't be long!

Here goes:

A. How much Afton love applesauce.
B. The Babingtons.
C. Comfy-ness
D. Having my sweet Aunt Debby while growing up.
E. Everything being in God's hands.
F. A few faithful friends.
G. God.
H. My home.
I. How much Ron loves ice cream.
J. Jesus.
K. Kindnesses.
L. Love.
M. The privilege of being a mother.
N. My Nana.
O. Onions.
P. My Papa.
Q. Ron Harvey Babington
R. Ron Harvey Babington
S. September.
T. My brother Tim.
U. Umbrellaless rain walking.
V. Voyages.
W. Western culture.
X. Peace and quiet.
Y. Youth.
Z. Grace.

Whistle While You Work

We are on our third day in a row of intense separation anxiety around here. It is the kind where even the simple act of carrying my coffee cup from the living room to the kitchen sink is met with huge tears and terrified, heartbroken wails of protest. Excusing myself to use the bathroom is, of course, much, much worse. It is also a variety of separation that is not particularly particular. It doesn't seem that separation from me personally is what causes distress (that would be kind of flattering and precious) but separation from people in general. If anyone else is here I am completely dispensable, but when it is just me and Afton here my presence seems to rank in necessity right up there with oxygen. What makes this kind of separation anxiety (aloneness anxiety I think describes it better)so trying for me is that it lasts for most of the day, because for most of the day it is just us around here, and it vanishes as soon as Daddy gets home. He never really gets to see it and so of necessity it is a burden I carry alone.

But this post is not really about that. Another post will be soon. I have a theory that separation anxiety is much like puppy love, and will perhaps elaborate on that when I have more time. This post is to be about music, so let me get to that. This morning my frazzled nerves and I visited a sweet blog that asked its reader's what they were thankful for today. The most honest answer I could come up with at the time was easily summed up in two words. Nap Time. I have tons and tons and tons upon tons of things to be thankful for but today, at least at that moment, nap time was topping the list. I wished I had an answer that would be more profound and heartwarming, but if I was being honest that was what I had to say.

Later on, at the commencement of blessed nap time number two, I looked around at the state of my house, which has become an innocent victim of our aloneness anxiety crisis, and felt I had so very much to do before tomorrow, when all I wanted to do was sit down and soak up some silence. I knew that wasn't the best option, that I would feel much better if I reclaimed my living room from its occupiers (toys, pajamas, old magazines, and yes, more than a couple dirty diapers). Before I tackled this I turned on my iPod, something I usually do while cleaning but have neglected in the past few days of survival mode. As soon as I did that everything changed. Birds started chirping, the sunshine poured through my windows, a tangible peace settled upon my living room. I was going to make it and cleaning was going to be fun!

I am so amazed by and so thankful for the transforming power of music! It does many things, but what I am most thankful for today is its power to make mundane tasks more pleasant. Its power to get you through what you've got to do. God didn't have to bless us with it, but I am so glad he did. So to nap time, I add music as the things I am most aware of being thankful for today.